The Liberator Gaming Front

A Collection of Gaming Quotes

Star Wars d20: The Legacy Campaign

After our Imperial Campaign, we took a break. Larry and Kris got bored and wanted more Star Wars, so Larry started a new game. And again...Larry gave up GMing partway through, and Rich took over. It's a theme, y'all.




2010

Unknown

Tom: All our beds are made.
Nikki: I'll make it with you in it.

Lirano: I was going to howl at the moon, but there are so many going past.

Kris: What do mynocks eat when there are no ships?


February 4, 2010

Rich: What's the fire control system on this ship?
Sam: Don't you wish there was a fire control system on this ship?

*ship weapons fire*
Kai turns to Twilight: My blaster pistol seems so inadequate now.

Rich: I'm not shooting at the big thing because I don't think my guns will do anything and I don't want to attract its attention.

Kris: We just had another Millennium Falcon moment.

Larry: You're getting used to this whole on your back thing -- let me rephrase.

Phun: There's no kill like overkill.


February 18, 2010

Larry: Just put the number next to --br> Jared: The number on the list?
Larry: Preferrably.

Larry: Bitches in space!
Jared: And one man. *pause* Two men, but one's unconscious.
Larry: Bitches in space!

Oona: Finally got the ship spotless with no one around.

Nikki: I got a 17 on a search for dirt.

Kris: I can shoot people better than mynocks.
Jared: That's good because we're shooting people.


March 3, 2010

Rich: I could even go along with something like: 'The Big Fluffy Wulf.'

Kai: Captain have you noticed that you're rather sinking?
Lirano: I'm starting to have an inkling of a sinking feeling.

Oona: You are not coming on this ship til you clean off.
Kai: You May be the captain and I the XO but I'm pretty sure it's her ship.

Kai: Yes I believe this is where you last saw it, but the galaxy is full of --
Tash: Untrustworthy swine.
Phun: Space. The galaxy is full of space. The ship could be anywhere in it.


March 17, 2010

Kris: Are you guys playing Dance Dance Revolution while we are dying?

Rich: As Scarlet runs over and cuts Phun free!
Kris: I thought you were going to say, 'Cuts Phun in half.'
Rich: And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!
Rich and Kris: Eeeewwwww!

Lirano: Well you could always cut its arms off.
Kai: With what?
Sam: A bright pink lightsaber.

Kai: Never mind Captain. The GM was being less than descriptive.

Sam: I'm just wondering how many hit points this mountain has.

Sha'lan: Phun! Brace for impact!
Kai (running for the shield station): What???

March 31, 2010

Rich: I can heal other people now!
Kris: I can heal myself now!

Rich: Did you see where the ship went down?
Sam: Gracefully landed.

Twilight: It's annoying what a stun setting can do.
Lirano: Wait, my weapons have a stun setting?

Jared: That's the sound of four facepalms - Our Captain.

Sha'lan: Well Booth, it's interesting how we find ourselves in these situations.
Booth: How the hell have you guys survived this long?

Sha'lan: See Booth? You have too little faith in the prowess of Twilight.
Jared: That's when the crane falls on them.


April 14, 2010

Lirano: I'm not going to make a unanimous decision...unilateral decision.

Sha'lan: I have no problem selling the spice, but I May be morally bankrupt.

Sam: Give me a description here Larry. I want to know how I'm going to die.
Larry: Here's how I'm going to die.

Sith (asking everyone for names): And you, little lady?
Twilight: Danny.

Sha'lan (to the Sith Lord): If you wouldn't mind fixing that speeding ticket...

Sam: I told you if we killed every NPC we wouldn't have this problem.

Tom: So does anyone have a real objection to going over to the Dark Side?

Sha'lan: Does this mean I can throw lightning bolts from my fingertips and people across the room with my mind?
Lirano: I'm sure with enough training Sha'lan, you'd never be able to do this.


April 28, 2010

Kris: Wait I don't understand this plan.
Sam: Excellent. If she doesn't understand the plan, there's no way the Dark Lords of the Sith will understand this plan.

Twilight: Remember from here on we're unfriendly towards anyone friendly to us.

Sam: Only be nice to Twi'leks, that's my new motto.

Kris: I can't be inspiring, but I can build a battle plan on the fly.

Kai: Strap yourself in we're taking off!
Oona: To what?
Jared: Strap yourself to the hyperdrive.

Oona: No more speaking no more speaking no more speaking.

Sam: Oh god, we're finished.

Port Authority: Okay Woolly Mammoth, you're good to land.


May 12, 2010

Tom: So this game we need to run away twice as much.

Jared: That's not a fuel pod, that's the sub-woofer.

Rich as Meta-Oona: Good thing I expected something stupid from you.

Jared: Sir, the ship is squeaking at us, should we fire?

Tom: Are you talking about positions with her parents?


June 9, 2010

Sha'lan: With that roll, if I was going to bluff you, I'd want you to kill Darth Krayt.

Rich: I don't need weapons. I have natural claws.

NPC: I wish I could charge more but my services with the Kwan are limited.
Kris: I'm sorry, "I wish I could charge more?" Is there some kind of range or scale after which even the scum of the galaxy say, "I'm sorry, I can't charge that much, it'd be wrong."


July 7, 2010

Sha'lan: Is there any room for movement on the price, one business being to another?
NPC: Yeah, I can always go up.

Sam: We go back to port and try to find the high ground by Bay 22.
Nikki: That would be our ship.

Pandara: Try not to hit the droids.
Kai: The droids? Try not to hit the captain!
Phun: Either captain!

Kris: Go Team Us!
Rich: Go Team Woolly Mammoth!
Jared: We need to mount some horns on this thing.

Phun: No really I think we can reinforce them for rams.
Oona: I'd worry about stuff getting caught on them.
Phun: Well if we put in some quick release mechanism.
Oona: Oh. Yeah. That's possible.

Nikki: you guys weren't even faced with any part of the security system, you were faced with a fan.


July 21, 2010

Sha'lan: Woolly Mammoth to Imperials who are like little rats. Would you like to negotiate?

Lirano: Kai...make sure they don't get away with me, or I'll come back for you.
Nikki: And we know Jedi can do that.

Kris: I have suddenly discovered paranoia.
Nikki: Like we haven't had enough of that already.

Jared: I think that's actualy been building for a while instead of suddenly discovered.

Lirano: I'm in a bad mood.
Kai: I noticed Captain.
Sha'lan: You weren't probed, were you, Captain?


August 18, 2010

Rich: Look how blond my arm hair is! Yaaay!


September 15, 2010

Rich: Did someone have an old widowmaker?

Lirano: Well if we only send out Sha'lan then we still have R6 to pilot the ship.

Sha'lan: I think I've been abducted by the Imperials five times less than the Captain.


October 13, 2010

Pandara: Oh my god are we naked?

Rich: And this one time, at Nar Shaddaa, I got captured by Hutts! They made me their sex slave for weeks! Fortunately they didn't have anything that could penetrate me.

Sha'lan: Bounty Hunter! Could you let us out so we could shoot back at our friends trying to kill us?

Oona: I'll come with you and hide behind you.
Phun: I can come with you and not hide behind you. Your choice.

Sha'lan: Let's sneak out of here in our skivvies.
Pandara: Let's find our stuff.


October 27, 2010

Larry: You gotta be kidding me. The dice are hating me today.
Jared: Yay!

Sha'lan: Do you want to deal with the wall while I'm doing this?


November 10, 2010

Tom: One of them has Jedi robes. That's a trap. Let's go away.

Kai: What was that? Did the clothing take over their heads?
Oona: Yes, I believe it has.

Oona: What I want to know is when did they become an item? I thought he was looking for a four-armed furry beast, not a masked slightly robed woman.

Tom: If we split up we have two groups that can get into trouble.
Rich: I'd rather we stay together so there's only one group to rescue.
Nikki: Aren't you one of the people needing rescuing?

Nikki: I'm telling you with a 25 int the stats I ran in my head show it's Sha'lan's fault.
Phun: Sha'lan was with me today and the ship got lit on fire.

Oona: I'm not one for fighting but I might be one for assassination.


November 24, 2010

Sam: You guys have given me such high expectations now that you've told me the Albatross.

Sam: When you're wanted for high treason, human trafficking, how bad is that?

Sha'lan: What can I say? Nobility is rubbing off on me.
Kai: I haven't touched her, I swear, and I'm certainly not rubbing her.


December 8, 2010

Kanakadu: May I offer you a drink? ...You already have a drink. May I offer you another drink?


2011

March 9, 2011

Nikki: There's a university here?
Rich: Hutt U.
Kris: We want to Hutt you up.
Everyone: groans.
Kris: Quick someone roleplay so we can get off this conversation.

Phun: To the war room!
Kai: It's a lounge!
Phun: Is it combat related news or personal news?
Oona: Both.
Phun: To the war room!!

Sha'lan: Would you like to meet in a discreet location where you can have a discreet conversation with this person?
Captain: If you discreet one more time, I'm going to shoot you.

Rich: Are you thinking about the other game? You weren't in the other game.


March 30, 2011

Rich (to Kris): So as long as nothing comes up, I can help you move Sunday.
Larry: Isn't ComicCon Sunday?
Rich (to Kris):I'm sorry, something came up.

Kris: So you two are the underworld geniuses of the group. You have more contact than anyone? You can get into any sleazy, underworld joint on any planet. And you can't remember how much we're being paid?
Pandara: I'm not a numbers person.


May 13, 2011

Larry (singing): I am so mean...but only to Sam.

Fel: Ah, Sha'lan. I've heard good things about you.
Sha'lan: I'm sure they're all lies.


May 11, 2011

Nikki: What is that last word?
Kris: Cheese.
Tom: Ceiling.
Sam: Star Destroyer.

Nikki: I need to get Larry a ruler.
Rich: He has a ruler. His wife.


June 22, 2011

Rich and Andy (in unison): Yes because being impaled and hitting the ground is SO much better!

Kris: I sense a great disturbance in the Force.
Larry: Yes you do.
Kris: As if another one of Sam's character's is about to die a horrible death.

Kris: This is great music to die to.
Rich (singing): No one ever is to blame.


July 5, 2011

Jared (looking at a mini): I'd like to know what Sha'lan is grabbing there because it's sure not an arrow.

Sam: It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust you.


July 13, 2011

Kris: What did you roll?
Sam: Nat 1!
Kris: Me too!
Kris and Sam high-five.

Phun: Say something if you want it open.
Sha'lan: Open Sesame.

Kris: I was told not to care about anyone anymore.
Nikki: Uhoh.
Sam: I can't believe she listens to a word I say.

Lirano: How about we settle this once and for all.
Sith Lord: You don't stand a chance.
Lirano: Try me.


July 27, 2011

Pandara: Can we have a ship that's a cube?
Rich: So we can fly around and tell people resistance is futile?
Pandara: Why would I want to tell people that?

Pandara: Refill!
Sha'lan: To Fel!
Kai: To Fel!
Pandara: I said RE-fill.


August 10, 2011

Sha'lan: Well it looks that they are recruiting so I'm sure you;ll get accepted.
Kai: Thank you Sha'lan. That was very nice of you.
Sha'lan: It's better than saying most of them died so they are pretty desperate.


August 24, 2011

Sha'lan: Engines are like people -- they need love to work.

Kai: Hey Sha'lan, I think the shuttle just cycled into place. Can you check?
Sha'lan: I'm going to do a thorough check of the pod but I think we're good.
Kai to Pandara: Does that mean we can let go? You speak Sha'lan better than I do.
Nikki: That should go in the quote book.

Mal: I hand them masks. "Here, breathe." I turn and walk out.


September 21, 2011

Kris: Ship failed to perform as advertized. Blew up several days after leaving port. Expect a refund.
Andy: We almost lost Commander Fluffy.
Jared: And that death, sir, would have been on your hands.

Rich: how is that an oops? You tripped and your dick slipped in?
Nikki: That excuse never works. *pauses, looking at Rich* What?
Rich: It sounds like you speak from personal experience.

Kai: Who's blowing up the ship??
Phun: Sorry! Sorry! That was me!
Kai: Phun why are you blowing up the ship?
Phun: I am not blowing up the ship!
Kai: You rocked the ship!
Phun: You know what this means?
Rich: Phun rocks Kai's world.

Phun: This does mean the powerpacks are strong enough to work with the droidecka shields.
Kai: That's what you get out of this? That the power packs are strong enough to power the droids??
Phun: That's what I said.


October 5, 2011

Rich: But I thought you wanted to become a crime lord.
Kris: I thought she already was a crime lord.
Sam: You know, now that you mention it.

On vomiting:
Tom: Force power: projectile. *bleaurgh* Hey look at that kid!


October 10, 2011

Sam: So Rich how was the tea party?
Rich: It was a lovely tea party and the kid's not mine.
Kris: Who's kid is it?
Rich: Phun's.
Phun: What?

Larry: What do you find?
Nikki: A sticky note.
Andy: It's sticky for all the wrong reasons.
Jared: They seemed like that right ones at the time.


November 11, 2011

Rich: Well according to my last sticky note...
Andy: You've got to get a girlfriend.

Kris: It says...sukhot? Sunkist? Sukhot? We're celebrating the Feast of Tabernacles? Well there's a General Sabbath. So that's the way I'm going. Suddenly we're Jewish Jedi.

NPC Trader: I don't know what you're talking about. you must leave now.
Sha'lan: That's a shame. And we had all this money we wanted to spend. NPC: Ahhhh. Yes.


December 21, 2011

Kris: We have two of the main teams here.
Jared: Team Tech and Team Trouble.

Jared: I was going to say, you might not get one but I hope you get a reflex save.

Larry: You find those boots.
Tom: Commander Fluffy left something in them.


2012

January 4, 2012

Sam: This is a great tradition to start. On the eve of battle, we shoot the captain.

Kai: You're a bad influence.
Mal: Looove you!


January 11, 2012

Nikki: And the music starts. We're all screwed.

Meta-Kai: Quick, darling. Be more dark side.
Meta-Mal: Sure! Come here.

Jared: Question. Okay, in 4th edition... In 4th edition... Okay in Star Wars...

Nikki: [While Oona faces down 5 enemies all alone] This is a huge inconvenience.


January 25, 2012

Tom: How many boyfriends did Oona have?

Sam: You're gonna put the XXX into XO.

Tom: I think we did something very smart or very stupid.

Larry: 24 will miss you?
Sam: I sure hope so.
Larry: ...Will 24 hit you?
Sam: No but I sure hope so!

Rich: I told you I had a plan.
Kris: Yeah. Split the party.
Rich: That usually doesn't work.


February 22, 2012

Kris: Poor Borol, he was having a perfectly normal day until the kid sister showed up.

Tom: Where’s all the pirates?
Rich and Kris: Arrrr.


April 11, 2012

Rich: All because their generals wanted to throw in with an idiot.
Tom: Who, Fel?

Oona: I fix it, I keep it.


May 23, 2012

Larry [GM]: You hear a few clicks…and nothing else.
Kris: Roll up new characters.


June 13, 2012

Jared: Yay for all favorable conditions.


July 24, 2012

Tom: That’s the great thing about Star Wars. It’s always dark, so you can always be wicked.

Sha’lan: Most people are running around with two death-hammers, one in each hand, shooting willy-nilly or with rocket launchers on either shoulder, I speak from experience having been shot with all of these things.

August 8, 2012

Rich [GM]: As I told one of my friends, “Human sexuality doesn’t matter. It’s all about who you love.”
Andy: This May be the alcohol talking, but that was beautiful, man.
Rich [GM]: That’s what she said.

Tom: You have Hal. He’s a tech.
Nikki: I work alone. I made an exception [for Phun].
Jered: Yay I’m an exception!


September 5, 2012

Sam: I suppose when you have move object you’re your own segway.


September 19, 2012

Kris: I think the droids are happy to see you.


October 17, 2012

Phun: Because I have to hold my breath, while puking, take off the rebreather, clean it out, and put it back on all icky.


November 7, 2012

Rich [GM]: Who would have though she’d take this time to engage in droid porn?
[Larry raises his hand.]

Sam: It’s moments like this that make you want to retract the door a little bit so he clotheslines himself.


November 14, 2012

Darth Maladi: Fine, if you don’t think the bounty I put on you is sufficient let’s up it. $500,000 credits for you dead.
Pandara: I’m getting the sense this isn’t just about dinner.


November 28, 2012

Pandara: Pass the popcorn, I love this speech.

Captain Neidermeyer: Oh no! You’re the sister of Darth Sadis! This is terrible.
Phun: You just watched 2 fleets get destroyed in 12 seconds and *that’s* terrible?


December 12, 2012

Sam: Depends on what the damage reduction of the hall is.

Krayt: This is Darth Krayt. Cower before my power.
Mal: You sound pretty.

Sha’lan: Does that mean I can dock with her?


2013


January 9, 2013

Rich [GM]: It’s in..how do I put this nicely?
Sam: Top working condition would be nicely.
Rich [GM]: Barely able to fly.


February 6, 2013

Jared: So there’s a group of naked Gamorrans chasing you with their ‘force pikes’.

Phun: Let’s talk to Kai. She’s a tactical genius.
Kris: Well, I have like, 4 ranks in tactics.
Phun: She’s a tactical genius!

Sam: What would you like me to roll to explode?

Sam: I’m doing really well here. I’ve been impaled, blown up, shot, and now I’m suffocating.


March 20, 2013

Meta-Sha’lan: I didn’t know your family made its credits in red plastic cups.
Rich [GM][As Meta-Mal]: Whenever there’s a party, Solo’s there!

Kaileen: We have a couple farseers on our team.
Borol: Really? You do realize this isn’t a common skill?
Jared: We’re an uncommon group.
Sam: Short-bus uncommon.


March 27, 2013

Kaileen: We are not planning to destroy my family’s ship!
Pandara: Well, we’re not *planning* to destroy it.
Kaileen: Yes we are! And no we’re not!

Rich [GM]: You find out when you tumble into the room that you crush your robot parrot.
Sam: You are a fiendish GM, Rich, and I stand by that statement.

Rich [GM]: It used to be the toaster.
Kris: Polly want some bread?
Rich [GM]: Polly used to make its own damn crackers.

Andy: 49 to intimidate.
Rich [GM]: Aw, one shy of fifty. That’s what you needed for an automatic capitulation.
Nikki [mouthing the words]: force point
Kris: Use a force point and get it to 50! He hasn’t said what’s happened yet! Use a force point!

Oona: Mal, I need you.
Kaileen: What?

Tom: Do you have an apron that says ‘kiss the cook’?
Andy: It says ‘Kiss the Sith Lord.’

Rich [GM]: There are a few pleasure slaves.
Pandara: Ooh, we can use those.
Kaileen: Free those. Free is the word you are looking for.
Pandara: They’re slaves. Who gives you the right to free them?
Kaileen: We just DID!


April 18, 2013

Rich [GM]: He hated you and thought you were a waste of air.
Sam: This person sounds like a great judge of character.

Sith Lord: Where is Captain Grud?
Mal: He couldn’t make it. He’s sick.
Sith Lord: With what?
Topher [under his breath]: Being dead.

Sam [calculating damage]: Okay, let’s just make up a number and give it to Rich.


May 1, 2013

Mandalorian: Good news! The city has sent 5 more walkers up behind us!
Kaileen: You have an odd definition of ‘good news’.
Mandalorian: What could be more glorious than dying in battle?
Kaileen: Dying in bed. With my husband. Fucking.
Andy: I want that in the quotes.

Sha’lann [played by Tom for the evening]: You want the body gone?
Tom: Sha’lann has a disintegrator ray.
Rich [GM]: No more body.
Larry: Should have used that against the gate.

Jared: Most of us got our reputations by accident.

Jared: We just stumble from accident to accident.


May 19, 2013

Sam: Did I say anything about scowling menacingly? I meant I’m cowering behind Pandara.

Sam: I’ve already taken it from everyone else; I have to take it from Mal, too?

Sam [after accidentally shooting himself in the foot]: For my move action I’m going to hop around on one foot going “ow ow ow ow ow!”

Kris: I missed with one, hit with the the other, and didn’t shoot myself in the foot. Go Kai!
Sam: Show-off!

Rich [GM]: Down the hall you hear, “Oh my god, they’ve already killed –”
Larry: Kenny.


June 12, 2013

Rich [GM]: Reach around with a lightsaber. Is that what Peter Mayhew was doing?

Rich [GM]: You’re all out of droids, Tom.
Jared: Noooo! What are you going to do on your turn? Other than just…go.

Jared: So after Pandara stabs herself and Sha’lan tries to shoot her…


June 19, 2013

[Mal is facing Krayt alone, while the remainder of the party faces Maladi and several other Sith.]
Kai [shouting]: Mal! I’m pregnant! You’d better kick his ass! Don’t you dare die on me!
Mal: Don’t you think that would have been good to know about three days ago?
Kai: I only just found out!
Rich [GM]: Mal, you have a +2 morale bonus.
Kris: That’s what I call inspiration.

Kris: Stop helping the GM kill us!

Tom: Force lightning from her belly.
Rich [GM]: I’m the new baby Palpatine!
Kris: Abortion!
Andy: There goes my morale bonus.

Kris: Look Mal! We sent you backup! Oona the pacifist!

Mal: Why do all the droids go bzzzzz?
Kai: Let it go. It’s Oona’s special time with the droids.
Mal: A droid for this, a droid for that, even a droid to clean up afterwards!
Tom: Imagine what she does to the ship.

Force Ghost Zenair: Have fun with the twins.


July 3, 2013

Rich [GM]: Second star on the right and straight on til morning. But I don’t fucking want to go to neverland!

Kaileen: As long as you understand it’s proprietary.
Phun: Don’t worry; she’ll only sell it to the highest bidder.
Mal: I guess we’ll be seeing Sha’lan again.

Tom: Do I die?
Rich [GM]: Shake that magic 8-ball. The future is unclear.


July 18, 2013

Pandara: I know a safe route in that May be dangerous.

Mal: If we survive, we raid the base.

Pandara: Scan for life forms!
Rich [GM]: The ship goes BOOM!
Phun: Pandara, I don’t detect any life signs.

Kris [Meta-Kai]: Ooh, I have a meat shield. That isn’t my husband for once.
Andy [Meta-Mal]: Suddenly I feel left out.
Kris [Meta-Kai]: Awww, next time I’ll use you as a meat shield, dear.

Mal: How is our tech doing more damage than our Mandalorians?


July 31, 2013

Pandara: I don’t charge, I sashay.

Andy: I always flip my knife around.
Nikki: Usually that’s something to do at home.

Andy: They have sonic screwdrivers!


August 29, 2013

Rich: There’s a little holo that says, “Alert! The Mistress is down!”
Andy: Do you think we’ll finally get a vacation?
Nikki: If I die I’m kicking your ass. With my new character.

Tom: It’s not like I was going to rob a Hutt.
Jared: Again.
Tom: That was never proven! There was only coincidental evidence! And proof!

Phun: I’ve never felt more useless.

Tom: I pull in next to Phun.
Pandara: Why’d you take the slow one?

Tom: We should get a really good droid and call it Oona.

Jared: What a great day to be on comms.

Andy [Looking at picture of Oona]: This is inaccurate. She doesn’t have a head anymore.
Rich: That was cold.
Kris: We could turn off the air conditioner now.

Rich: Kai.
Kris: I run to join the other Knights in defending Fel.
Rich: What? You’re going to honor your Oath instead of helping Pandara? You suck-up.
Meta-Kai: Meh, it’s Pandara, I don’t like her anyway.

Jared: Puts the fun in funeral.


October 9, 2013

Pandara: What about a pinata ship that when you blow it up thousands of widowmakers come out?
Nos: Like a hive ship.
Pandara: That’s a better name. Let’s call it that.

Sam: I’m so proud of my ex-character.

Rich [GM]: Borol is there…missing an arm.
Pandara: That’s a good look for you.


November 27, 2013

Jared: I’m going to shoot his throne.
Kris: Go get him Phun!
Sam: His back massager is totally not working.
Rich [GM]: You really pissed him off now.
Jared: I’m trying to make him as uncomfortable as possible.

Sam: If you’re going to go out, go out big.

Rich [GM]: Here’s the problem. The force sever’s not working yet.
Andy: DUH.

Kaileen: Obey Me!
Yuuzhan Vong Dragon: Yay food!

Andy: Maybe it’ll be like Ghostbusters. It’ll be positively charged poop and everything will be okay.

Mal: Blow up anything that moves on the surface until we get out.
Kaileen: Why did I marry you?
Mal: The sex was good.
Kaileen: Well…yeah.

Mirian: I’m sure you did Oona proud.
Kaileen and Phun: Who the hell is on our comms?
Mirian: Mirian.
Kaileen and Phun: Who the hell is Mirian??


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